Greg: I don't think I could take a job like that seriously enough. I'd write someone a ticket and fold it into origami and be like "Your ticket is for driving slow like the crane. Look, the wings flap!" Or I could make one of those fortune teller number games.
"Aw, you picked the 6? Nobody picks the 6! Wha'd you get--OOOOH! You got DUI. Tough break."
Or like "Pick the 3. Come on. Pick the 3. I've got two guys and a dog in my squad car who want you to pick the 3."
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