100th Post Goes To Willie!

And what did he say? 

Willie:  I wouldn't change my name to that if God himself paid me in devil quarters.

This Is Only Getting Worse...

Steppy:  I run the joke into the ground, then hump it some more, then beat it like a dead horse and tell it to get up.

Also

Steppy:  So I think if I start adding something addictive to my cooking, something that's more chemically addicting than the cooking its self, I will have the perfect system for catching girlfriends.

Also

Steppy:  Instead of a turkey timer on the teens, maybe they could just label them with a "best if used after" sticker of some kind..

For You

Willie:  I love this weather.  I wouldn't change it for the world...but I'd change it for you.  If you wanted the weather to change, I'd do everything in my power to get the weather man to change it. 

My Great Nephew

My niece Ashley comes over to visit and has her three year old with her.  He immediately goes into my kids' room and plays.  Moments later Ty comes out and says that there's something wrong with Aiden. 

Ashley:  Oh no, is he playing "Dead And Zombie?" (as she runs to the room)

Us:  Um...what?

Ashley returns from handling the situation in the bedroom. 

Jessie:  What's "Dead And Zombie?"

Ashley:  Oh Aiden just sometimes falls on the ground and pretends to die, and then twitches and gets up and chases people around like he's a zombie.  Oh but that's not what he was doing.  He was pretending to be choking on a spoon. 

Us:  What the fuck?

Ashley:  Yeah, he'll turn himself purple and gag and grasp his throat and everything. 


Weird kid or weirdest kid ever?

This Time

Jessie:  Kids should not be playing on my lawn, I do not live in a common area of the complex and they're not supervised over here. 

Steppy:  Chloroform the children and leave them in the bushes and be like "Somebody stoled your baybies!!"




David:  Jessica Alba is my celebrity crush.

Jessie:  Really David?  That's lame.  Can't you be original?  You're like a 12 year old boy with a poster over your bed. 

David:  Yep, and this time it's not Mike Piazza.